One and a half grand and a hair cut later!!

Its been long overdue, so I decided to go to a hair salon. I forgot to take an appointment, as its always last minute and dear receptionist asked to wait for just 5 minutes, and you know how long 5 minutes can take sometimes. While I was waiting, and reading some nonsense Fashion magazine from last year and hearing the person next to me cribbing about her MIL, another lady come up at the reception desk. I hadn’t even finished scanning her from top to bottom and wondering, what the hell she needs to get done, she looks like she is just out from a Salon, she whisked right in without waiting. Making me feel like, Why should I have to wait so much? Am I not paying for the service? Or should I get that damn membership that the reception lady always advises me to get? Sulking in the corner.

Anyways, after few five minutes later, the receptionist asked, who do you want to get styled with, Stylist, Senior Stylist, Style Director, or a Creative Director. If you want to go with the Junior Stylist, he will be with you right away, but since you didn’t book prior with Senior Stylist, you might have to wait. Yeah right, I know how busy he is sipping coffee and counting money.

I felt like I guinea pig choosing a Junior Stylist. What does that term mean beside a little lesser charges, anyways. Ok I understand he is less experienced, but it makes me feel cheap choosing that service and also he might just be a newbie, with no experience what so ever. There is no going back with haircuts, no warranties, no guarantees, no return policy.

I still chose the lowest priced service available holding my wallet tight and counting my blessings. So a trendy looking metrosexual guy with hair highlights walked up to me, introduced himself and asked me what I wanted. While he checked the volume, checked the texture, checked the length and checked the scalp, I was shivered nervously whether I passed his standards or not. What if I am denied a haircut today?

The red horned one, on one shoulder said, “Get a Perm done. It can’t get past unnoticed with I-could-care-less-husband of mine”

While the winged and harped one on the other shoulder spoke some sense, “Don’t do what you did last time. Just say that can be tied later and let him decide the rest. Don’t wake up your sleeping brains now.”

“Can you please get up and come to the hair wash area. We need to shampoo.” B..but..I …d…on’t …need…” He looks in horror at my bohemian style, unmanaged, unkept hair and I stood up silently and walked towards the wash area. I sniffed silently in my tissue at the humiliation.

We came back to the hair cut area and a man was getting groomed next to me. The kind that always fascinate me and inspire me to groom better. While I get my hair done, he is resting with his green facepack and cotton balls covering his eyes. I wish I could see his face and judge him.

He asked me the same question, I get asked every time I am in a Salon, in an attempt to engage me in small talks and showing off how caring he is about his customers. I don’t need small talks, please concentrate on my hair and that’s how I will know you care.

But as he showed me how much length he is going to cut, there should be a written contract with picture to support the claims. He cut as he wished and then showed me if its okay, like I can go back. Few minutes of serious blow-drying business later, he showed it to me again with a back mirror. I felt happy with my hair cut, as I always do the first day with half a bottle of each factory product in my hair, and as much time spent on my hair as much as I do the whole week in total.

I get back home and ask Mr Husband, “So?” He looks up from his laptop, takes a quick glance and says,”Nice. Have you found that bill I was telling you about anywhere?”

Battle of the Sexes.....No!!

I sometimes feel that Mr Husband and I don't live in the same house. Or maybe our eyes have been trained to see different set of things. Or our minds are wired differently. I know I maintain an exhaustive list, see below. But I really wonder how come he can see all this, when I can totally overlook it or choose to ignore it. Sometimes, when I have time, I wonder if it is all intentional or a master plan of the Architect. Not inspired by the Matrix :)

I bring a different perspective to the house. My eyesight is a little weak, better half says I need reading glasses, but that's his personal opinion. Which means I don’t see the dirt, or minute things. I look at the bigger picture, the brighter side, far sighted. No kidding.. 

If you are thinking if this post is a battle of the sexes or a Couple rivalry or another one of those Mars and Venus discussion. It is not, but this is a pre-anniversary gift (secretly reminding him of getting me a gift, hidden intentions you see). A celebration of how we complete each other. He brings details and I bring ……still figuring out. While you read on. 

Jan hit mein jaari - Anniversary is still far away, so you still have time to buy us the gift you forgot last time.

My Travel Diary is a little Different

Exactly !! Should have taken a picture

I bumped my car again. Don’t worry I’m fine, hence the post. New Year, New Accidents, New Stories. In the last 4 years of my driving in the crazy Bangalore traffic, touch wood I have had no major hit and run case.

It was not entirely my fault this time though and FYI no one was hurt. Around 11am, I was returning home from my swimming lessons and I was just a turn away from home then. So that makes you very confident in known territory and also hurry up because you tend to suddenly remember the load of unwashed dishes lying all over the kitchen waiting for you. You know how one looks after a swim, nasty hair that look just like they have been electrocuted, tanning so bad that anyone can tell how your swim goggles are as they are imprinted deep into your skin. And body smelling like dead fish.

So there I was, waiting to take just the last turn for past 10 min. Can you believe so much traffic at that time of hour, is everyone jobless or they are all working the 11am shift? Oreo comes back from school at 11:45am and before that the love of my life, my bai is supposed to come. I need to get the chores finished, ok atleast my part of the chores finished by then. I was in a genuine hurry and cant afford to waste so much time. I decided to reverse a little, on the main road yes, and take left turn along the ramp that goes up to a restaurant.

What I didn’t realize, atleast that time, was that there is a step ahead, and not an inclined road. So as soon as I turned, the front wheels landed with a thud and the mud guard was making screeching sound as it was being torn apart and the back was in a different longitude and latitude. I stopped before the back wheel mud guard also came out. Oh God, it looked bad and there was no way I could get it out on my own.  While I was analyzing the damage done, the driver who was right across the street came out smiling and saying, I was waving at you to stop, but you just ignored. Now how was I suppose to understand the signal, I thought he was asking to pass before me, so ofcouse I increased my speed.

The driver, asked the madam sitting behind if he could offer help and if she could wait for 2 min. The madam sitting behind, looked at her watch, faked a smile towards me, and said drop me to office and you can help on your way back. Just as I expected. The driver said, I should call the towing company or the on-road assistance. Like I have the number on the back of my hand or understand how the stuff works. I have a husband to do such work.

So while I called Mr Husband, some 10-12 people gathered around the car. I don’t know if they were wondering if I was driving a stolen car from my rag look or were genuinely worried about my car and wanted to help. I surely didn’t look like a damsel in distress, so I doubted that anyone wanted to help.

Mr Husband said it would take him atleast 20 min to reach, so I should try taking the help of someone around. You see we have been married for more than a decade now, so situations like these are just a way to get back at each other.

A guy, passing by, in car, said try lifting the front wheels using a Jack. Well how am I supposed to know who Mr Jack is and where it is. But a guy from a neighborhood restaurant, whose entrance my car was blocking, offered to take out the jack and try lifting it. A couple of his staff and people on road, lifted the front wheels using the jack. I was too nervous to go back behind the wheels, so a scooter guy, who looked like his mom had just combed his hair, said he can. I was ok with whatever help I could get.

But the jack couldn’t hold on to the wheels as they tried to race and lift the whole body. So the idea was rejected by another fellow passerby, who later asked “How did you managed to get the car in this condition”. I tried not to beat him up by just saying “Good question.”

Meanwhile a group of people tried to lift the front of the car by hand, but it was badly stuck and was getting more scratched in the process. So that didn’t work out.

The manager of the same restaurant just drove in a mini truck, the ones they carry poultry hens and eggs in, had a better idea. He called all his staff and a few people around to lift the back of the car and move it out of the step without. It was easier because the car was on a slope and the guy behind the wheels was turning it in the opposite side.

And the car was out. I couldn’t be more thankful. The whole process took around 20-25 min, so just in time to pick up Oreo. I didn’t need Mr Husband, who I guess must have been helping some old lady cross the road or playing CandyCrush after stopping on side road. Now I wouldn’t have to do make the bed tea for him as a payback.

There was a lesson I learnt from the whole experience. People are more helpful than you think or they show in Bollywood movies. Not everyone has a meinu-ki-fark-penda-hai attitude. And the number of Road side assistance is available on a sticker right in the windscreen. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

After Nightie ban, next ban on Superheroes wearing briefs outside pants

Another Faking News - Posted on http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/12/20/after-nightie-ban-next-ban-on-superheroes-wearing-briefs-outside-pants/

To be banned

 After a recent ban on the Nighties by a group in Mumbai, the next target is the Superheroes in underwears. The group has imposed a ban on innappopriate dressing by the Superheroes and even levied a fine on alleged offender heroes This recent ban has created a panic among the league of heroes and were seen purchasing new costumes and giving measurements at the tailoring shops.

When asked by Faking News team asked Superman “If he was considering wearing his red underwear under the Costume”, he said, “This kind of nuisance never happened on my planet. I have called my Dad and told him that I want to return to planet Krypton. But until then I will have to follow the dress code and what better opportunity to use the Great Online Shopping Festival.”

Spiderman when contacted said “With great Power comes great Responsibility. And it is my responsibly to make sure that I dress appropriately in public places before saving people. I have made a couple of costumes for myself in the past and I think if someone has strong opinions about how I dress up, I can easily sew a new one with my powers.”

While Batman was strongly against the whole incident and condemned the ban saying “My Black underwear on grey uniform is associated with my image as a Superhero and I can’t change who I am. I lost my parents early on life and got used to wearing it other way and now suddenly you question my identity. I am not going to adhere to these self claimed fashion police and speed away in my batmobile. BTW they are trunks and not underwear with a lot of history.”

The Catwoman was however unavailable to comment on the whole incident and others were busy saving the world.

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/nighty-ban-goes-after-a-mighty-dressing-down/article6683447.ece