Not so Nice Lice Story

The following has been based on a True story. Some details have been changed to protect the innocent –

One upon a time there lived a King and Queen with their beautiful Princess. They were living a very happy life, but the fate had something else in mind for them. One day when the Princess was playing with her friends, a wicked Lice jumped from nowhere and landed on the Princess hair. The Princess came to the palace to complain of her discomfort to the Queen, she was a little itchy and scratchy.

The Queen could not believe her eyes, her world collapsed, she could not breathe, what she had seen was completely out of lines for a Royal Princess. The Queen was very angry, she cursed the day she had sent the Princess to play with her unhygienic friends (so she thought). The Queen didn’t know what to do, so the Queen escalated the matter to the King. The King had a good laugh about it and the best he could come up with was “It happens”.

Is it True, Does it really happen? Now the Queen was one of “them”, one of those parents who didn’t care and neglected personal hygiene. And to make the matter worse, the King said “It happens”.

So the Queen called the witch to help her out. The witch suggested, for the peace and happiness of land and its innocent subjects, the Princess should cut her hair or else would be sent to a far away Land.

The Princess had long, beautiful hair and did not want to cut them. The Princess cried and cried and couldn’t understand what she had done wrong. But the Queen was very unhappy and embarrassed. The King held the Queen’s hands, trying to calm her down. He tried to talk the Queen out of sending away the Princess, he wanted to help in every possible way. But he didn’t know how.

So the Kings men drove the Princess to a faraway Tower with the witch. The Princess was sad and helpless. One day a Prince drove to that faraway land and saw the sad Princess standing near the window. The Prince wanted to make an acquaintance with her and asked her to drop her hair, so that he could climb up. Princess was very happy, she dropped her hair down, as soon as the Prince was about to touch her hair, the Lice winked at him. The Prince shocked, shouted out LICE!! LICE!! Help!! He laid there unconscious.

That day the Princess understood that she had to cut her hair and let the witch do her work. The War was on. It took one whole month for the witch to clear up those tiny ugly blood sucking vampires out of the Princess head.

Now her hair were short, tidy and very neatly combed back with a Tiara adding to its beauty. She was a Princess again and returned to the Palace to reunite with her Parents. After it was all over, even a very long time after that, they could have a good laugh about it. But they had to keep their fingers crossed at all the time, as there could be "Revenge of the Lice", or "The Lice Returns", "Lice Reloaded". 

The Princess

You told me to Hit Back

Initially when my daughter used to come home crying saying some kids in school had hit her or pushed her, it used to break my heart. So every time she cried I told her, “Be brave and stand up for yourself. If you keep crying, other kids will have more fun and they will want to hit and tease you more.” I think I might have told her to hit back, ok yeah I teach my kids Violence. But I am only trying to teach her how to fend for herself.

That worked and she didn't come home crying and complaining from school, atleast most of the times. But (of course there is a but, there is no Happily Everafter), she also has a little brother. She is now applying her success mantra at home too.

“Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet”, this quote has a new meaning for us now. In our home it means they are inseparable and are always at a distance where they can hit each other. I constantly feel that I live in a boxing ring and am the Referee of an endless match, only difference being that I don’t signal the start of a fight and count when one of them is down.

My Life THEN

Big Sis – Mom lil bro pushed me and took my toy away.

Mom – Don’t keep complaining. Lil bro give her toy back, there are so many toys, can you play with something else.

Lil Bro – Keeps throwing the toy till it breaks.

No one gets it, since it broke. Lil bro gets a good one since he broke the toy. Big sis very happy because she managed to score one.

My Life NOW

Lil Bro – Cries like he is testing his lungs (or my sanity)

Mom – What happened there Big Sis, why is the lil bro crying?

Big Sis – He took my toy away and pushed me. So I pushed him harder.

Mom  - Why didn't you come and tell me. Why did you have to push your own little brother. Look how badly he is crying, did you hit him too? Lil bro quiet now and has a finger pointing towards her sister.

Big Sis – You told me to hit when someone hits you. He hit me once and gave him back two. She had the sparkle in her eyes like a victorious warrior waiting for the chief to acknowledge and praise her.

Now what do I do. I am still evolving and learning as a mother. There should atleast be a certification test (if not a course) before you can apply for motherhood. You should know all the answers and should have done all the case studies beforehand. Nobody prepares you for such a 24/7 – overwhelming – always cleaning but ever dirty – diaper changing – feeding and cooking – night waking – keeping calm on the exterior phase (I could go on with this). Nobody tells you the real TRUTH.

Feel much better venting it out. So where were we, yeah, what do I do now? I think I need to teach her the difference between a healthy squabbling and bullying. This would be a good lesson for her social skills aka Emotional Quotient. I’ll tell you how it goes in another post. Wish me Luck!!

My little One asks more questions than my Mom

With a sibling coming in its a very Fascinating and emotionally challenging phase for the elder one. I have a 4.5 year old and the younger one came in when she was 2.5 years old. So basically I have been answering questions related to pregnancy for the last 2 years, and thought maybe it will end now. But I am always wrong and the questions only tend to become more complicated and demands more detailed explanations.

I read a few articles in the Parenting Guides somewhere on the Internet and it suggested that I should “Prepare” the older kid to bring in a new member in the family. I thought maybe that will be a good start for a healthy relationship and think of him as her own little friend. I was once again wrong.

I had opened a Pandora’s box.

When did God send the babies inside your tummy?

“After I got married” (hehe that’s want I want to teach her by setting a good example. Only after marriage)

How many babies did He gave you?

“Two”

There must be a time when both of us were inside of you at the same time?

Yes

What did we do inside together?

Your eyes were closed and you were sleeping.

So our eyes open only when we come out?

Yes

Who brings us out?

Doctor at the hospital

Why do you have to go to hospital?

Because doctors are at the hospital

Then why was Jesus born in a stable?

(They were told the Christmas story at school, so more questions to answer. Huff). Because there were no hospitals back then. (I wanted to keep it simple)

How did the doctor cut your tummy- Sleeping line or a circle?

It was a sleeping line.

So when he had cut your tummy to bring me out doctor didn’t notice Jas (lil brother) inside?

(I know I handled the first question incorrectly, Wrong again, I should have said God sent the little brother in my tummy only after you were born. But) No, he was too small to bring out that time.

Then how did he cut your chest to fit in the milk feeding bottles – Sleeping line or circles?

Oh no, I didn’t think the previous question was only to prep me up for this big question. I didn’t want to disappoint her by not giving her an answer and didn’t even want to answer the question just to open another topic of discussion which she was not ready to handle yet. Thank god for a telephone call that interrupted our discussion that day, Saved by the bell. The question though still haunts me and I want to be prepared with an answer. Any help?

So I thought that was the end of questionnaire, we had over the past couple of months on and off. But then they were taught in school about the Lifecycle of a Hen. How Hens lay eggs and mature in 3 weeks to become a chick. So the next couple of days spent comparing her and Hen’s lifecycle.

Was I born as a baby or egg?

A small baby. You didn’t know how to talk and walk.

How long does a small baby take to mature?

It takes a lot longer, till you finish school. I wanted to say college but then I stopped at school. I am not as ambitious a mom as you might think.

If you eat less now, will there be space for more kids?

I don’t think so, kids live in a different part of the tummy. (Didn’t want to bomb her with a big word like uterus. Wish the world was as simple as their worlds, just one tummy).

I am hoping this is the end of the Pregnancy related questions. As much as I wanted to hurry up and get over with it, these Curious Little Minds have their own way. I think these rounds of discussion have atleast satisfied her for now and she can move now on to a different level. (Read as Let me live in Peace and bug her father with questions about the new Game on his Android Phone).

                             Love each others company and miss when one of them is at school

Love Those Memories (Part 1)

Here is a list of something Special (read headturning and sometimes headbanging) Dhriti (my 4.5 year old daughter) did or said. Its Part 1 because obviously I have 2 kids so there is more to come and no matter what my husband says love for first born is always more so the Part 1 is all about her. I have been compiling this for, can’t remember how long, so it’s a little loooooong. Enjoy –

At 1.5 years, Dhriti used to tell how to make tea. She said with all the expressions and eye rolls, water, tea leaves, ginger, milk and sugar and a little cardamom. Everyone used to keep asking her once more and she was more than happy to please everytime.

At 2years

Dhriti told a Landmark close to our apartment to a rickshawala. Proud mother I am.

Grandpa asked the meaning of Joke. Dhriti said “Do you want to go to school. Don’t worry I was just joking”. Couldn’t believe how promptly she explained.

"My Salman", Dhriti at 2.5. Salman is my favourite actor too J

When asked "Why does everyone love Dhriti so much ", she said "Because I am such a good girl, I listen to everyone and don’t do any mischief so.”  Nobody else needs to praise them, they are self sufficient.

Asked "How come your tummy has gone so flat", she said "I will have to eat Chocolate, then I’ll be fine ". So innocent.

At 3 years

After Jas was born "Papa mama are mine and Nanny is for Jas". Very clear signs who we needed to pay more attention to right now.

Papa said I am going to the bathroom carrying a book. Dhriti said "Take a newspaper, how come you are taking a book in today." Now Papa is answerable and has to be a good boy because someone is always watching him. (Could you hear my devil laugh)

She lost her hairpin in school and when asked where is your pin. she moved her hand in circles and said "abrakadabra"

"Then I will not talk to you", was her favourite phrase. It still is her favorite I guess.

After I delivered Jas, she kept saying “How come your tummy is still like dinosaur, is there another baby in there?” Last thing you want to hear post delivery:)

Right on her 3rd Birthday, Dhriti said, "Today is my wedding”. Then came the big question, "Who will I marry, you already have Papa and Jas is my brother?" I could see so much worry in her eyes.

She didn't like one of the shirts Papa wore one day. She said "What are you wearing today papa". Papa all embarrassed asked, why whats wrong. She said, you look like a policeman. Reason being the shirt had loops on the shoulders.

Grandpa told Dhriti, "Drink lots of water that will clear your stomach". She had some 2 sips and returned to grandpa, lifted her shirt and said, can you see a clear stomach now? Funny how they interpret things

Papa was tucking her in bed one night, Papa said sleep fast Dhriti I have lots of work from office today. Dhriti responsibly said "I will sleep on my own, you go and finish your work". All grown up.

Dhriti went to pick Grandpa to Railway station while he was coming to stay here. Grabdpa asked “How is Jas” from Dhriti in car, she said, he pulls down mama's pajama while trying to stand up. Heights of embarrassment.

Dhriti never wants to go back home when we are out. Keeps asking where we are going next. After getting out of a restaurant she said "Papa where are we going." Papa said, we are going home, aren't u happy what we did today, we have had enough. She being her dipomatic self said, "My tummy is happy but not me".

I was trying to teach Dhriti importance of brushing her teeth and told her "If you don't brush, the germs will reach your tummy and u will end up with a big tummy". Understanding the fact she immediately, with much thought said "Like you".

Because Dhriti had a lot of cough, after dinner she threw up everything she had. Then I said I will have to feed you again, the next sentence that came out made me realise that she was developing some sense of humour "Everytime you make me eat I will throw up. The more you feed me the more I will throw up". Speechless :)

Dhriti came and said "Mama Aarush said he will marry me". Yet to turn 4 yrs.

I was scolding Dhriti on the top of my voice and after I finished, she said "Mumma can you speak a little softly my ears are hurting". Broke us all into laughter

Papa was explaining Dhriti the value of money. He said, "I have to go to job so that I can earn". Dhriti's interpretation of the sentence was "I also have to "jog" when I go to skating class and I can "Run" very fast". "Job" became "jog" and "earn" became "Run".What a Vocab.

At 4 years now -

Went shopping with Dhriti for some sanitary napkins. Dhriti said - Buy sofy side walls. TV has such an impact on these young minds and she definitely has a good memory. Point to note she can’t read yet

Ask her to share bourbon biscuit with Jas and she will carefully divide the biscuit into 2 halves, she will have a cream half and Jas gets the half without chocolate cream. Both are happy. What love.

Dhriti's friend Anushka who lives downstairs was coming home with us to play with Dhriti. Anushka's mom said come back by 8 o'clock, Dhriti immediately turned to Anushka and very slowly in her ears said 10 o'clock, say u'll come back by 10. Already they have a time limit of 10 when they are 4, what does future hold for us, wondering!!

Dhriti said my husband is Shahrukh khan and I call him “Sharu”. So obsessed she is with marriage, I hope it’s a phase and will pass soon.

First said the word Girlfriend and boyfriend, though the definitions right now are a little simpler. Girlfriend means friend who is a girl.

Dhriti lost a return gift she got from a friend's party and then when we tried to explain it to her that it as her fault that she should not have opened it before leaving the party, She said "Yeah its always my fault. Whatever wrong happens is my fault. What papa does wrong is my fault. What mom does wrong is also my fault. I am always wrong ". She sure knows how to win an argument. Feel sorry for her would be husband.

As usual Grandpa and Dhriti were watching TV together in the evening with Dhriti comfortably sitting in his lap. An Ad for Venus razors for women came and Dhriti asked - "Grandpa do girls shave their legs?". We were all laughing and then grandpa thought of an answer - "Only after marriage". I think he only gave her another reason to grow up and get married

After Jas was born and till now, my skin and body has not come back to its original. I have pimple outbreak so Dhriti suggested me what I could do. I should use a Neem face wash like the one they show in ad. Handy tips she has for me these days

 While watching a romantic movie, she asked “Is she his gal?” God help us

These are some of the memories that I will cherish for a lifetime.

With Lots of Love.