Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Wish I had a wife too

 Yeah, I wish I had a wife too. Don’t let your imagination go wild, I am straight. And no, I am not jealous of my husband, ok maybe a little. Seriously, life would be so much better. If you think the answer is a household help. Not really, here’s why-

When someone says, “OMG, are those your kids. Look at what they are doing. Please stop them.” I would come home and say “It was so embarrassing for me. You should teach them better manners.”

I would blame her for forgetting family birthdays and special occasions.

While playing games on my phone I would say “You have spoiled these kids. They are either watching TV, if not TV, they are busy playing on the Tablet or mobile. What is their future?”

I could sit on the couch with a remote and say the TV screen is not clean these days, it is so difficult to watch TV. And then watch something without bothering about Adult content.

If the maid doesn’t come I would say, “Don’t bother to do the dishes, sweetie. I will do it when I back from office. Promise.” Yeah right.

Sunday morning I could say, “I will not be able to watch the kids as I have to go to a coffee shop to catch up with an old friend. He is in town only for 1 day.” If she says, “Can we come too, it would be a chance to meet with your friend.” I would say, “Baby, you don’t know him and moreover he is not bringing his family. Don’t worry will be back in half an hour.” Imagine, so much freedom.

“Its been such a long time since we haven’t invited any friends home for dinner, honey. They really like your cooking, can we call them over for dinner tomm”. I would become a very good host.

I would get a packed dabba every morning. Would not eat it and would just say “Oh!! had to go out for a lunch meeting. It was planned last minute. Don’t mind.”

Wouldn’t bother about eating healthy just to set a good example for the kids.

“Where are my Towel, socks and handkerchief?” Every morning, without fail I would say that with my eyes closed.

When she would say “What should I make for lunch?” I would say “Whatever you want, baby”. And when its time to sit down and eat, “Whats for lunch?  Oh, ….long pause….do we have bread at home?”

“I want some tea. I know we just finished lunch, but I want something to settle down the overeating I have done.”

“I can’t go the Parents Teacher Meeting this one time”.  

When the kids have a summer break and my wife would go nuts managing them, I would say, “It is their time to play and enjoy. You are going to miss these days, so enjoy while it lasts”. As of now I only wish he could join us in the fun.

 “What are you planning you for the kid’s birthday Party? Plan it well in time, but don’t forget the budget. Kid is really excited about it”.  I would say it like a “caring” and “responsible” mother or rather father to my wife.

This list is unending. Happy world it would be.

I know wife’s come with a baggage of their own and maybe they a little high maintenance. But that is only once in a while, it can make everyday so easy and convenient.

On Second thoughts, one day she will think of me the way I do for my husband now and want a wife of her own too. This is a vicious circle. Wife’s wife, and then wife’s wife. Hmmm don’t think it is such a good idea after all. Too complicated for my 2 kids to handle.

I guess I will have to do a better job training the husband I have. Afterall, I want the same husband for the next 7 births.

See that's what I am talking about. Not literally carry the kids though.


  1. It is so relevant. Wish wives could brush off from their responsibilities, the way husbands do. Life would have been so satisfying..