Don’t Judge Parents by their KIDS

Its Oreo’s third Birthday and we are at the Supermarket, buying party supplies and return gifts. We haven’t thought about what we are going to Gift Oreo yet, buying something is a distant dream. It was easier for his First and second birthday because the idea of being pampered and showered with gifts had not evolved in his mind then and we would easily neglect and ignore him. Even if he got many gifts on his birthday and they went missing the next day, he wouldn’t notice, unless ofcourse he saw Brownie playing with them.

But this time its going to be different, we knew already from the shopping list that both my Husbands offspring had made. I know they are my husbands offspring and not mine because I was a good kid, but whenever I meet someone from my husbands side after a long time they will make sure that I know about all he had broken there. I think its his Karma that I’m paying for.

You know how much fun it is shopping at the Superstore, with the whole family, its like an adventure trip. On one side there is the biggest Remote control car and Doll house complete with Hair colouring kit and dozens of pairs of shoes for the Barbie. And the other side is Kids shrieking, “Why not?” “One more” “I don’t love you” “Just one last” “My friend has it too” “You promised” “I’ll tell grandpa”. Its not easy walking through those aisles while dragging brats holding your feet.

Oh I missed, there is one more side besides the kids and loaded racks, your Husband, who will keep commanding “Stick to one aisle at a time” “Stop staring at her dress” “There are no offers or discounts, take what you need” “Avoid the embarrassment and let the kid have it” “Look at the watch, its time for the cricket match” “Just one more thing from the shopping list and we are done”. Who wears a watch to the shopping mall and looks at the damn incomplete list anyways?

I am going to skip the Stranger side of the story, who will look at you, like such unloving parents and disagreeing couple. I will come to that later, but for now I’ll say to them it is very easy to make someone hate you when you let your kids be themselves.

So despite all the hurdles and distractions, we finished picking up random things some of what we intended to buy and some what the marketing gurus wanted us to pick and still stand united as one family. The husband consoled later saying that he will make another trip alone in case we forgot something for the party.

The party was planned a little on the last minute but we managed to pull it off, inviting only the kids and skipping the judgmental parents. So I guess it was a little easy, playing the games in the order in which they appeared on Google Search and ate in courses as it was cooked and served. Nevermind the party details, it is about gift right now.

So he got a Big Remote Control Ferrari Car as a birthday present and he couldn’t resist himself from boasting it in the playground the next day. We leave buying such expensive gifts to Relatives and Santa, so I guess Oreo was too excited to have it for the first time. As much as we wanted him to play inside and not break it on the first day, we didn’t want to hurt his emotions. It’s a jungle out there in the playground, competition, bullying, envy and conflict, and not to mention fist fights.

Another kid, Oreo’s age has one of those automatic battery operated Cars which you can sit in, maneuver and even honk. So while one of them was ruling the territory for a while now with his most sophisticated cars and was used to kids running after him asking for a turn to sit in. The other one had just been crowned the Birthday boy with 10 new toys, a jealous sister and latest gizmo, so the fight was pretty much obvious.

We didn’t know what was happening, until Oreo came back crying. We started scolding him, thinking that he had broken his new car, but later understood when the other kid came barging in our house complaining. Oreo had broken this Kids Car Horn and was crying to avoid the scene. The other was also pointing at Oreo and crying and nose running faster than his tears. I tried to ask Oreo in front of him as to what had happened, but he is too small to understand my intentions yet. By this time the other kids Mom had come and politely asked the kid to leave with her. She was kind enough to let go of the whole incident saying “What if my kid had done the same thing to someone else”. And before I knew, everyone was back to their work.

Now that is what I am talking about, “Kids will be Kids, if you let them be”, so don’t judge the Parents by their Kids next time at the Superstore. Moral of the story.

What is your first thought when you see a well-dressed-swanky-heels-fashionista at a shopping mall while you are attending your kids friend's birthday party?

So here I am at the Dominos Pizza in a shopping mall, you know how much fun it is, kids shouting at ear piercing decibels, mom cribbing about their couch potato husbands and grand parents running around collecting all the kids. Elder kids asking the counter when they are going to serve pizza and carefully telling the waiter exactly how he wants it, double cheese no veggies, and the waiter carefully looking at the mosquito who has been bugging him for a while now, so that he can put the matter to rest. Younger kids are shouting because they are being pushed around by elder kids while playing Musical Chair and some because they want the return gifts and goody bags right away. And the ones who are still in the stroller, are shouting for their Moms attention, who is busy telling other Moms how her husband comes late from office everyday and doesn't return her calls. The only reason I am at the party is for free Pizza and of course my brats.

Then suddenly you hear high heels walking towards you, (I can hear them even with so much noise around, I am gifted that ways) with their hands hanging out just to show off their recently manicured nails or big diamonds they are wearing, not sure. So it is a group of three newly wed couples, hanging around, having a good time. If you are wondering how I know they were newly weds and not still dating is because they were wearing the Red and White Chudda, must for North Indian brides to be worn for atleast 45 days. All the three girls were wearing trendiest dresses, paired with the right accessories, hair blowdried, wearing big mascara complete with makeup. Oh yes, at a certain age you need to wear makeup all the time, even to watch a movie in the dark.

They had sometime to kill before their movie, oh how I like to eavesdrop on other peoples table, not completely my fault that kids birthday parties are so much fun. So what is my thought when they are leaving the pizza place, “Ha, wait till you become a Mom and you are too exhausted to even comb your hair everyday and your body parts are all so wiggly that all you will think about shopping is Shape wears and Plus sizes. Lets meet then, (just like in 3 Idiots Rancho and Silencer meet again after 10 years), who is talking about kids and flab, who is wearing the most fashionable designer labels and who is going to watch a movie.”

While I was caught in my thoughts, giving a good punch to the girls in my dreams, suddenly I heard a voice “Excuse me aunty”. My ego completely sank when I looked back and it was THEM, asking to be excused as I was standing in their way out. 

And I thought I would be happy….

  

…when my elder born (Brownie) will start extended session in school, that means the regular session from 8:00am – 3:00 pm instead of 8:00am – 12 noon.

When I heard for the first time that the school is planning to introduce it early (she is still in UKG, another 6 months before 1^st grade), to get them used to having lunch in school and stay back longer. I was really happy, that I will have to handle only the younger one (Oreo) now. You see, I am the kind of Mom who wants them to be independent and give them their space, that’s how I like to think of myself.

Till 12 noon, I was feeling on top of the world, planning to go to a Salon. Its difficult to drag them around everywhere with you, esp with the stylist, who will always be watching my kids from the corner of her eye, and talking among themselves in their native language. I think they talk about how well they are being brought up. Well I can write a whole post about it, and will leave it for later.

Yeah, so I was making plans, maybe lunch with a friend out. Can’t do that either on weekdays, because if I take them along, I am always worried that they will either break some cutlery or will be looking at others table to find out what they ordered. So I have to always keep my radar matched to their frequency. Oh yeah, that can be another post too, feel like disowning them in restaurants.

But somewhere between being happy and being a mother, I have my moment with a little devil and Angel on my shoulder –

Angel - I am feeding Oreo and think what if Brownie doesn’t like whats served in school

Devil – She has to learn to eat everything. It is a great way for her to eat her veggies and its healthy and hygienic.

Angel – She is used to her afternoon nap, how will Brownie manage to stay up and keep working so hard.

Devil – She is big enough to handle it. If all kids her age can do it, she can too.

Angel – Now that she will be travelling to and fro to school with elder kids, she will pick up more of the swearing-oh fish-don’t care language.

Devil- Now nobody will blame you for using bad words that the kids have picked up. Point all the fingers to the bus kids.

Devil- Start thinking about who will put Oreo to sleep now Brownie is coming late.

Angel – If I taught the elder one to sleep on her own, he will learn it too.

Devil – Now there are lesser people to complain about, so lets just serve for dinner what was cooked for lunch. You can ask the husband to shut up.

Angel – God!! Its not healthy.

Devil – You will have to go and wait and pick up twice now. Different times, longer waits. Think about hiring someone for it or outsource the job.

Angel – It’s the best time to see the smile on their faces when you receive them. That’s the time when they tell you all about their day.

Have a lot on my mind and shoulder with the Angel and Devil sitting right here. But wonder when these little shoulders got so big that she is already gone for more than half a day. Miss you big girl, Mom’s waiting!!

Law of conduct for Neighbors Maid

There is an unspoken law of conduct that you have to strictly adhere to when it comes to Neighbors Maid. No kidding about that, it’s a very serious matter and comes with hell lot of implications and can have grave repercussions.

So it happened, one day I was just taking a stroll in the parking lot where my kids were riding their bicycle. One of our neighbor, Aunty/ Mrs K, is dreaded equally among maids and other neighbors. If she asks someone, who is working at your place and if she is good, then you can surely kiss that one goodbye. And also be sure that the maid knows what you told Mrs K and more (a spiced up version). So this was a well known fact in the society.

But what do you do when she comes to you with a smile (just like to one receptionists have), saying ‘Oh my god, such lovely kids. They will grow up to be fine people. Just like my grandkids’. And I am thinking, ‘Yeah right, you can guess that just by taking a look at them. Just live with them for one day. Oh, don’t have time for sweet talks, have to think of an excuse to run away from this conversation right now. Why don’t’ these kids have to go to the Loo when I really want them too, otherwise they are shouting their lungs out in the movie theatre, restaurants and malls. I would even prefer to talk to a Customer care unwanted call for a new credit card. How about giving feedback for the really expensive restaurant we went for last weekend.’ My mind was thinking fast, but not fast enough.

‘I have a really bad backache for sometime now and my maid is troubling me a lot. She is taking advantage of my situation.’ Mrs K says with a heavy voice, almost on the verge if breaking down. ‘Do I have foolish written all over my face, why is this happening to me, esp when I thought I have a settled maid affair.’ I am thinking. While Mrs K continues with her plight, ‘Uncle is also retired, and keeps asking me for tea all the time. And now I have some guests planning to come down to see us because we are not well. Why do they have to come to see us, instead just send us tickets and we will come to show them that we are fine. Anyways, can you ask your maid to come and help me for 4-5 days, while I try to find someone else.’

Before I could say, or even think, ‘Ask her to come at my place first because I have an appointment later in the hospital, if you don’t mind’. Ofcouse, I don’t mind, I don’t have a mind to mind.

So the next day, my maid comes at 12 noon instead of 9 am and tells me that I am not paying her enough. I couldn’t stop crying that day, or atleast that’s what I told my Mom, and my husband, my friends and my other neighbors and the other maid. Almost posted on Facebook and twitter. 

But I am going to avenge this, ONE day. I will not take this sitting down. Thought about that for the next 8 months and then we moved to another apartment.