And I thought I would be happy….

  

…when my elder born (Brownie) will start extended session in school, that means the regular session from 8:00am – 3:00 pm instead of 8:00am – 12 noon.

When I heard for the first time that the school is planning to introduce it early (she is still in UKG, another 6 months before 1^st grade), to get them used to having lunch in school and stay back longer. I was really happy, that I will have to handle only the younger one (Oreo) now. You see, I am the kind of Mom who wants them to be independent and give them their space, that’s how I like to think of myself.

Till 12 noon, I was feeling on top of the world, planning to go to a Salon. Its difficult to drag them around everywhere with you, esp with the stylist, who will always be watching my kids from the corner of her eye, and talking among themselves in their native language. I think they talk about how well they are being brought up. Well I can write a whole post about it, and will leave it for later.

Yeah, so I was making plans, maybe lunch with a friend out. Can’t do that either on weekdays, because if I take them along, I am always worried that they will either break some cutlery or will be looking at others table to find out what they ordered. So I have to always keep my radar matched to their frequency. Oh yeah, that can be another post too, feel like disowning them in restaurants.

But somewhere between being happy and being a mother, I have my moment with a little devil and Angel on my shoulder –

Angel - I am feeding Oreo and think what if Brownie doesn’t like whats served in school

Devil – She has to learn to eat everything. It is a great way for her to eat her veggies and its healthy and hygienic.

Angel – She is used to her afternoon nap, how will Brownie manage to stay up and keep working so hard.

Devil – She is big enough to handle it. If all kids her age can do it, she can too.

Angel – Now that she will be travelling to and fro to school with elder kids, she will pick up more of the swearing-oh fish-don’t care language.

Devil- Now nobody will blame you for using bad words that the kids have picked up. Point all the fingers to the bus kids.

Devil- Start thinking about who will put Oreo to sleep now Brownie is coming late.

Angel – If I taught the elder one to sleep on her own, he will learn it too.

Devil – Now there are lesser people to complain about, so lets just serve for dinner what was cooked for lunch. You can ask the husband to shut up.

Angel – God!! Its not healthy.

Devil – You will have to go and wait and pick up twice now. Different times, longer waits. Think about hiring someone for it or outsource the job.

Angel – It’s the best time to see the smile on their faces when you receive them. That’s the time when they tell you all about their day.

Have a lot on my mind and shoulder with the Angel and Devil sitting right here. But wonder when these little shoulders got so big that she is already gone for more than half a day. Miss you big girl, Mom’s waiting!!

Are we raising Safe kids or Scared Kids?

After the recent incident at an upmarket Bangalore school where a 6 year old kid was physically assaulted, it has in some way or other impacted every household esp with a kid. Both the parents and the kids have been once again become oversensitive about the bone chilling and in human incident.

What do you first do when you read something like this in the newspapers? what is your first reaction when you have a kid at home the same age? How do you protect your kid at a place where they think there are no strangers, everyone is either a friend or a teacher? When we tell our kids its your school are we wrong, is it only the management’s school and not the parents or the kids school? What kind of person would do such a heinous thing to an innocent child, what kind of upbringing these monsters have, do they have a family or a mother? What happens to the girl during the criminal procedure and how to parents of the victim cope up? Do the parents of other kids at the same school ever be able to trust the management again or should the school be just plain and simple shut down? There are so many questions, that haunt you over the days and months to come.

Whenever something like this happens you tend to become over protective about your child and try to strictly reinforce all the rules and reiterate the ways for you child to tell right from wrong. I made sure that I find the latest videos for teaching “Good Touch Bad Touch” and make my kid see it every once in a while. I try to find out what are the classes that my kid can go and attend to safeguard herself. I try to keep my eyes open wherever my kid is going and practically stalk her everywhere. Everyday the first question I ask her when she is back from school is “What did you do in school today”. This question initially was meant to know what she learnt in school but now my prime concern is was she safe? I hope she didn’t have any bad experience in school. My God, I am so scared.

If our adult mind can be so scared what does a child go through if we keep iterating that there are bad people out there and you have to be careful. You should not talk to any strangers, they may harm you. If you are not feeling safe or someone tries to touch you in a wrong way you have to Run and Shout. What would be the impact of this is on a tender mind? Now my kid is so scared she would not go alone to the park or would not go to a next door friend’s house alone. Is this the society we want, the society of Scared ot the society of Bold and Confident.

I know I have to tell her Safety Measures once in a while, but I am so scared that I tell her everyday. No matter how I tell her or how strong I make her. She is only a small child. While we should be making effort to make our society safe and the school laws and background checking more strict, we are making our kids more Scared. Is this what we want from our Schools?